As many single mothers and fathers I know that have “working” relationships, I cannot make myself date a man with children. Now, I am a bastard child, born out of wedlock, so some think that I should feel differently about the subject but there are two people I do not want to meet:
1. The Baby Mama: Now I know that all baby mama’s aren’t lunatics who will hate every woman that their baby daddy dates because he didn’t marry her and try to make their lives miserable crazy but who wants to take that chance on a man they just met? Not me. (And no. Telling me a month into dating will not change that.) She will always be involved in your relationship and she will always be the mother of his first (or second or third) child. I do not have any desire to be a man’s wife and the mother of his Nth child. No. IF I do not have any children and can devote all of myself to this relationship, then why do I have to share? On top of that, she will actually take part in scheduling your relationship because of…
#2 The Child: …and their visitation schedule and the only person I want running my life right now is me. Period. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that any man who has a child needs to take care of that child 100% and put that baby first. With that being said, where does that put me? Close second? So, you’re free on a Friday night and I want to go to a Wizards game but your baby wants to go see Yo Gabba Gabba. Who is going to get your time? The offspring. I would not even WANT you to make your baby miss their show but why am I sacrificing something for someone I do not, nor want to know? I don’t mean that in an evil way but I do not want to build a relationship with your child and be what? Auntie? Some cute step-mom pet name? No no. When I’m ready to be a mother, I will get pregnant.
I don’t feel like I need to discuss the obvious issues with the actual loony baby mama, court dates, broken windows and voodoo dolls, etc. but dating a man with children is just something I am not interested in because I am selfish…and that’s all it boils down to.
2 comments:
I would have to agree (in a similar situation from man's perspective). Something about a woman with a child is a lose-lose situation, regardless of the woman. If I'm going down that path, I'm doing it with my OWN seeds! I really don't find that selfish either..
I sometimes feel bad because I have friends that are single parents but sometimes, well in certain situations, we just do not relate anymore. We're just on two different paths and I'm not sure I'm ready to go on that path in a relationship.
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